4 years.....The coming of acceptance

Another year has past us by. I awoke this morning in a foreign country, sun blazing through the curtains only to be shocked into remembering the date, THAT date, and that despite us leaving behind the snow, 4 years ago we were out, knee deep in the white stuff, trawling through fields, and calling out his name until we could no longer see hands in front of our faces. We came home for weeks on end tired out of our wits, but still willing it to be light enough to do it all again the next morning.....hope has a strange sense of optimism giving. Sadly that optimism wanes after you're kicked in the same place too many times. You get numb to feelings of wanting an answer, and for us that's where we've been these past 4 years....numbed, wondering, wanting to know the unknown. Where is he, where did he go, dogs don't just disappear into the summit of the unknown. Shockingly for us, another dog local to us, Molly, a liver and white Springer Spaniel has done just the same. Went off one day locally, and to this day, has not really been seen again. Gone, owners tormented, heartbroken and like us, in that very same numb limbo of unknowingness. It's torture, they are in early days, and we see them holding onto hope, and wish, WISH their own story unfolds into a happier ending than ours has. Still, we have kind of come now, to a quiet acceptance with Jacob that perhaps we will never see him again, and that yes, although not in our lives, he IS in someone else's and living life happily and wholesomely, never giving us a second thought. Stupidly as it it may seem, we both, Jonny and I hope that is the case, as that would mean he continues to live, and who can say that isn't a happy ending for those living with him. It's just not a happy ending for us, but for them, it is, and that is all we can hope for at this stage. So, Mr Jacob, wherever you are, on your 4th year missing from our lives, we, your family would like to say, we miss you, but understand your life is another place now....... Wherever that may be....be happy old man. Love....your family Xxx