Treading Water

Another few weeks have passed us by, just where does the time go ?

For some reason these days I dread having to update this blog, not in the way of dreading to do the actual task of writing it, but just because there isn't anything new to report, and I just feel sometimes it's all such a let down as I would love nothing more than to write here telling of the joys of reclaiming the love of our lovely boy, him being safely tucked up under his favourite duvet, safe, that's the thing, him being safe.

We don't know if he's safe or not right now, and yesterday we were walking round a local market in the sunshine only to see a huge drove of (what I can only call) unsavouries, causing hassle to a stall holder, him no doubt feeling very much outnumbered by this extended family who were causing trouble.

I looked at these people and thought to myself oh I hope that Jakey doesn't have these kind of people in his life. For one he would be terrified, secondly it would break him as Jacob just didn't do worry very well, and certainly hated being in the bad books of anyone (of which was almost never).

When I think of him being alive, I envisage him cuddled up with a families kids, being walked through a meadow or lovely field, good food in his bowl (any food in his bowl would be good). You just try not to stop and dwell on the flipside of that harmonious vision, the twee all is rosy thoughts do sometimes get positively overpowered by the darker side to this whole scenario. I hate it when I get thinking too much, what's that saying 'curiosity killed the cat'.

We're trying to stay positive, just generally, about the fact that in fact he could be out there somewhere, just sometimes thoughts can pull you in the opposite direction and you have this sudden urge to be over realistic, be too damn thoughtful of the other things that could have happened.

That said I have weighed things up, and actually having gone through the whole motions and the weather, and the fact that Jacob is a 'Jacob' (if you know Bracco you will understand this comment!) - and I think that perhaps yes maybe, he has been picked up by someone early on. The snow and bad weather didn't get to us for some 10 days after he was missing, so although the weather was poor, and very cold prior, it wasn't exactly life threatening (only maybe to a 'Jacob' perhaps). I find it hard to imagine him not going to someone and saying hey, i'm lost, help ! But if someone has him, they are doing a sterling job of his containment, and that in itself is the deciding factor of whether we actually can beleive he is being kept unknowingly.

We can send a thousand emails, poster hundreds of roads, but it doesn't mean every person necessary is reached. That's the worry and why blogs like this and email rallies are essentially the way forward, they each can widen the spread of his being missing that little bit further.

Right now it's all we have, so we are ever thankful to each and every person who offers us help, without you all we'd be more despairing than we already are.

We have to just keep treading this water in the hope that we don't eventually sink.

We try every day to remain positive about the situation, we really do, but deep down inside, it hurts like a gaping wound, it heals slowly, and then opens up and bleeds all over again.

I just hope that wherever Jakey is, he is happy, being treated as he should, and is healthy and safe. Most of all I hope he is as much loved as he should be, he deserves nothing less than that for what he's endured.